Everyone has been wronged, offended, and sinned against at some point. But how should Christians respond to such offenses? According to the Bible, we are to forgive others.

Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Colossians 3:13 – “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

The key in both Scriptures is that we are to forgive fellow believers as God has forgiven us. Why do we forgive? Because we have been forgiven! Our forgiveness of others should reflect God’s forgiveness of us.

Forgiveness is a familiar topic in the Bible. In fact, God’s plan to forgive mankind of their sins is the major theme of the Bible.

1 Peter 1:18-21 – “Knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot. He indeed was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you who through Him believe in God, who raised Him from the dead and gave Him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.”

John 17:24 – “Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.”

So, when wondering why we should forgive those who sin against us, we look no further than the example God gave us. Christians must forgive others because God has forgiven us.

Jesus illustrates this powerfully in the parable found in Matthew 18:21-35 where Peter asks how often we should forgive. Jesus replies, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.

“But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.

“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”

Forgiveness is mandatory for all of us who have experienced the forgiveness of God. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray: “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” He is reminding us that God holds us accountable for paying forward what He has done for us. Refusing to forgive those who wrong us is an insult to the Lord who has forgiven us infinitely more. See, we forgive as an act of gratitude for all we have been forgiven.

Those who have been forgiven by God are transformed into forgiving people. To approach the Lord and ask for His forgiveness while at the same time refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters is the height of hypocrisy. When someone who claims to be a Christian refuses to extend forgiveness to others, it may show evidence that they are not truly born again. We forgive others because it is in our (new) nature to forgive.

Forgiveness is not letting an unrepentant sinner off the hook. Rather, it is an eager readiness to extend mercy to those who have wronged us. When we forgive, we free ourselves from the bondage someone’s wrong has created for us. It is impossible to live in complete obedience to God when someone else controls our emotions. Followers and believers of Jesus are to be led by nothing but the Holy Spirit.

Forgiveness can also serve as a window through which the world glimpses the mercy of God. As the popular saying goes, “You may be the only Bible some people ever read.”  When we forgive, we model God’s teachings on kindness, mercy, love, and humility. People cannot see Jesus in us when we are walking in bitterness and anger. When all we can talk about is how we were wronged, how someone betrayed us, or the wounds we are carrying, we lose sight of our primary mission, which is to make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20).

Unforgiveness makes us self-focused instead of God-focused and steals our love, peace, and joy. Forgiveness comes more easily for some than it does for others, but we are all required to forgive if we want to walk in fellowship with God. Some find it hard to forgive because they have a misunderstanding of what it means to forgive. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. We can forgive from the heart while keeping betrayers at a distance. Forgiveness does not allow unrepentant abusers back into our lives, but it does allow the peace of God back into our lives.

Mark 11:25-26 – “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

From the cross, Jesus prayed for His murderers: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they’re doing” (Luke 23:34).

We reflect Jesus when we forgive the ones who wronged us; and for believers, being like Jesus is the ultimate goal.

We must also forgive ourselves. Oddly enough, it begins with admitting our own sinfulness. It requires admitting that we are imperfect and unable to become perfect on our own. It means acknowledging the depths of our depravity. It means rejecting the idea that our efforts will ever atone for our wrongdoings. But it also means receiving and walking in the fullness of God’s grace. When we humble ourselves and receive God’s grace, we can let go of our own angst against ourselves for our wrongs. We come to understand that the Creator of the universe loved us so much that He not only made us but overcame our rebellion against Him by the sacrifice of the Savior.